straightlock:

summerseachild:

batched:

genies:

the biggest disappointment in life is when good shows have a bad episode like i waited a week and u give me this shit 

the biggest disappointment in life is when good shows have a bad season like i waited two years and u give me this shit

The biggest disappointment in life is when good shows give you a bad finale like I waited nine years and u give me this shit

I love how I have a vague idea what shows they are talking about

101,390 notes

dejacoendou:

hey-doesnt-he-rap:

chicken-nuggets-galore:

Do twins have the same sized dick?

now we’re asking the real questions

As a twin, I can say my dick is definitely bigger than my sister’s.

553,261 notes


Anonymous: What is your definition of a girl who is bad in bed?

fightblr:

deadlifts-and-donuts:

building-an-unstoppable-fist:

swolizard:

the average looking girl who just lies there and uses splash:

the hot girl who’s only contribution is being hot:

the girl who thinks she can give good head but can’t:

BRUH

This might be the best thing I’ve ever seen.

OMFG!!!
I’m dead now.
You killed me with this post.

chibisilverwings:

clinttbarton:

i don’t want to live in a world where i’m not allowed to enjoy both Shakespeare and Ke$ha.

Wake up in the mornin’ feel quite Hamlet-y

Grab my skull, I’m out the door, I’m gonna act real shitty

Before I leave, overthink if I’m on the right track

Cuz if I kill my uncle tonight, he ain’t comin back

65,062 notes

"if you consider a woman
less pure after you’ve touched her
maybe you should take a look at your hands"

(via solacity)

I will never not reblog this

(via nuedvixx)


528,815 notes

"

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.

"
It’s not that I don’t love you.  (via
extrasad)

83,387 notes

The “turnoff” “turnon” game. Ask me anything and I will answer if it is a turn off or turn on.

kinell:

try me

291,703 notes

usmcdreamin32:

Lemme adjust for my target audience

Anonymous: Piss (Tehehe)

Bahahahahaha!

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