"Tales of a military girlfriend"
I'm Vanessa. I've made this blog as a sort of outlet. I've found the only good way I can express myself is through words.
I'm just looking for a way to say what I have to say, and hope that in return it turns into something positive. I've spent the last few years on random travels but now have kind of settled and found the man of my dreams. =) My heart belongs to Alec. A soldier of the US Army, and he's everything I didn't know I wanted.
Behind all the thousands of pictures of homecomings, all the videos, it heartache.
And I’m sorry if this comes out a little bit funny. When I’m trying to make a point I always sound like I’m talking in circles.
What I’m saying is, I feel like no one addresses the facts. That when women go to other women that sometimes they don’t tell them the harsh reality on top of it.
For example, homecomings. You could be super excited and it go perfect. But no one says, “Hey, you know things could be weird, or awkward. And you might have doubts that because of his lack of emotion that he loves you. But guess what, HE DOES. But it’s going to take time. And you’re going to have to readjust.”
I’m not saying its all a lie, I’m just saying that all these pictures online make up only ONE SIDE to the senario. Only ONE possible outcome. And then I feel like when it doesn’t happen that some girls will feel let down and that their relationship isn’t working anymore.
Do you see what I’m saying?
This isn’t the movies. This isn’t a fairytale.
This is real life, and sometimes things just happen in a way you never thought it would.
But just cause it didn’t happen the way you expected, doesn’t mean somethings wrong.
SO lets all just be honest with each other. Take the veil off and see what this really is. Real life.
Not saying you can’t hope and dream and cross your fingers.
(Please no one take this rambling as hate. Thank you.)
JOHN DENVER “LEAVING ON A JET PLANE”
All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go
1 year ago428 plays
“Have Faith In Me” A Day To Remember
<3 <3 <3 <3
Have faith in me
I truly believe that God gave me you for the ups & downs. God gave me you at the most unexpected time in my life, when I thought I didn’t want or need love. But turns out I was wrong. God gave me you to help me be the best person I can be. To show me how to grow into a stronger person, and to deal with my past. God gave me you to make me learn, that everyone deserves love. And when He thinks they’re ready…He WILL give each of us someone to love. Someone to love us for who we are, for forever and always.
When you think all hope is lost, just remember that someone out there loves you with all of their heart.
I won’t give up on us.
Even if they skies get rough.
Giving you all of my love,
I’m lookin up. Stil lookin up.
I won’t give up on us.
God knows I’m TOUGH enough.
We got a lot to learn,
God knows we’re worth it.
I won’t give up on us.
Even if the skies get rough.
I’m giving you all of my love,
I’m still lookin up.
I’ve fallen back into the weird sleep pattern. Where I just toss and turn all night, and I just can’t be comfortable without him next to me. I hate living alone, but I know its just one thing I’ll have to get used to. But I almost feel he had to go too soon. We moved into our place about 2 weeks and change before he had to leave…It doesn’t feel the same without him here. And I hate making decisions on my own on how to decorate, or where to put things.
We try to shop online together some times, but its not that same. I don’t know. I guess I just miss him. I can’t get a big hug after a long stressful day. I can’t get kisses in the morning to start the day off good. I have no one to hold my hand at the store….
No one to hold my hand at all the doctors visits. You can’t be here to just hold me after the quickly approaching court date for my moms child support. Probably the last time I’ll see my father….you won’t be here…Sometimes I don’t know if I can get through these big hurdles in my life without you…
“The Lord watch between me and thee while we are absent one from another.”
I remember you were coming down from Ft.Mccoy after being gone for awhile. We had a HUGE fight in front of my work when you picked me up. I hadn’t heard from you in over 5 hours. Plans changed without me knowing and I was furious. I didn’t know where you were. You weren’t answering your texts. I was working and couldn’t call you. Maybe I did. I cannot recall. We stood and argued for almost a half an hour. I was crying and upset. You apologized a million times over. You were supposed to be in town hours and hours ago, but you weren’t.
We made plans to go out that night to the bar. I barely talked to you as you drove me home to change so we could go out. I remember slipping it into my purse and debating the whole ride there whether or not to give it to you because I thought it was stupid and cheesy. But it was an impulsive buy. I wanted you to have a little something of me when you left.
We sat outside the bar in the car for almost a half an hour. I was crying and you were still apologizing to me. I couldn’t look at you. But I remember how you pulled my chin towards you, looked me in the eyes and said, I’m sorry baby. And gave me a little kiss. I was still debating in that moment to give it to you, but I did anyways. And you said you loved it and put it on right away. Though it barely fit over your head haha.
But you rarely take it off. You’ve been wearing it about 5 months now I believe. I still see it dangling on your chest over skype sometimes. Your little half of the coin. I love knowing no matter what, I’m always with you. <3 <3
I mean…if we switched roles, and I had to be gone…would you wait for me?
Would you still stand by my side even if I were away?
Would you go out while I was gone, and get struck with longing, wishing I was there with you?
Would you miss me as much as I miss you?
Would you stay true and honest?
Would you support me 110% the way I do you?
Would you sacrifice hours of your time WILLINGLY to hear my voice? See my face distorted on a computer screen?
Would you have those days where you just can’t function because you miss me so much like I do?
Would you still want me even though this will be constant in our lives?
Would you still love me unconditionally?
Would you wait….?
I always will. I only hope you’d do the same.
I’ll always have compassion for my enemy Lord. Because everyone deserves to have someone say they understand. To be their support. Because sometimes those “Enemies”…they have no one. Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to stretch my heart out to those most in need of love. ♥
“If we make it thro- No…WHEN we make it through this, we can make it through everything.”
I love him. =) <3 So much. Even though shits been ugly and rough, I still love him.
My cousin Skylar Dayne wrote a song for my boyfriend and I for Christmas. <3 I cried when I watched this. We’ve been waiting patiently for her to post it. =) All you military SOs or ANYONE who will be missing someones for the holidays, watch this. <3
Much Love. Merry Christmas
I‘ve come to the realization that I want to make a difference in someones life. No matter how small or large. Not only do I want to work on myself to become a better, more happy, more positive version of myself, I want to help everyone I can to become “Better” as well.