I'm Vanessa. I've made this blog as a sort of outlet. I've found the only good way I can express myself is through words.
I'm just looking for a way to say what I have to say, and hope that in return it turns into something positive. I've spent the last few years on random travels but now have kind of settled and found the man of my dreams. =) My heart belongs to Alec. A soldier of the US Army, and he's everything I didn't know I wanted.
He told me today he heard a rumor for his homecoming date.
Still trying not to be excited in a little tiny teeny way since its JUST a rumor as of right now.
If it rings true, its earlier than expected. Which is good and bad. Good because I want him home. And I know he wants to be home. But bad because I know he was using a lot of the money made on this deployment to save up for future traveling.
I dated a sailor. I man I had known for eight years. I man I knew before he was a sailor. We got together for a short time when he was deployed to Haiti. It was one of the most horrendous things ever….he told me he didn’t mean it when he said he loved him. He just needed a roommate. Yelled at me when I couldn’t find a job and threatened to kick me out. I moved out. I moved back from VA to home in WI…..that was almost two years ago. But I took the needed time to get myself together. And somehow found myself in love with a soldier. Which, it was completely unexpected. But he’s made me realize true love, and what it means to truly love unconditionally. To take a leap of faith and to find yourself among gold. I love him with all my heart. And honestly. If I never went through terrible heartbreak. I never would of found him. He completes me in every way I never knew existed. And this time, ‘I’ll be bulletproof’. I’ll kick this deployments ass then have the man of my dreams back home with me in my arms. Because without him I cannot live. I only live without him now because I know one day, he will return to me. <3
I‘ve come to the realization that I want to make a difference in someones life. No matter how small or large. Not only do I want to work on myself to become a better, more happy, more positive version of myself, I want to help everyone I can to become “Better” as well.
Some of us can’t speak for ourselves. Some of us can’t open up enough to let the world out, and I want you to know. You are NOT alone. Someone is always listening, and someone is always willing to listen, or hold your hand when times get tough.
I only say this because now…I know. Its true. I came on Experience Projects to help release the stress of an upcoming deployment between me and my soldier and came across some unexpected hurdles very quickly. But there was always someone here to LISTEN and give me SUPPORT. And for that I am very thankful. =) Some of the words may have been harsh to hear in the moment, but they in fact were the truth, and I needed to hear it to help me gather my bearings and focus on what I needed to do to fix the problems. And they were fixed. With a little bit of help…from strangers. And that’s my goal, to touch lives, to give that little boost that I know we ALL need from time to time. Understanding. Truth. Support.
The main reason I’ve been so moved to WANT to make a difference, a conscious effort, is yesterday. I made someone..smile. A complete stranger told me that a confession I shared on here:
“well this round was pretty crazy my love ….after many tears, and many words, things are getting back to normal with you and I. We finally sat down and BOTH apologized for everything that was said that wasn’t worth it. All the grudges that were held that never needed to be, and all the doors that were closed that can now be opened.
We’re going to get better….today, you made me laugh SOO hard. I haven’t laughed this hard in awhile. Its like we hit the reset button. We forgot about the bad things said, and only look forward to the future. Truth is, I missed you. Even bigger truth…I missed myself. =)”
It was said that family couldn’t even get this person to smile. And honestly it gave me a kind of warmth in my heart that I’ve never ever felt before…that in some way, I made someone happy. In a small way, I helped. There’s always going to be someone here to talk to. All you have to do is take a leap of faith.
I guess in all my rambling what I’m trying to say is…….everyone can make a difference. ONE person can help another. One person can make a change, make a difference. <3 God Bless. <3 Pay It Forward.
well this round was pretty crazy my love ….after many tears, and many words, things are getting back to normal with you and I. We finally sat down and BOTH apologized for everything that was said that wasn’t worth it. All the grudges that were held that never needed to be, and all the doors that were closed that can now be opened.
We’re going to get better….today, you made me laugh SOO hard. I haven’t laughed this hard in awhile. Its like we hit the reset button. We forgot about the bad things said, and only look forward to the future. Truth is, I missed you. Even bigger truth…I missed myself. =)
